My mother is the kind of women who is always executing. For as long as I can remember and to this day, my mom is constantly on her feet doing something to make someone's day easier. Most of the time, no one explicitly asks for her help, she just picks up on something in a conversation with someone and realizes that they're in need of support and then she does whatever she can to help - no procrastinating, no double-thinking.
For example, when I moved into my new place and my furniture was being delivered. I had a plan. I would let them deliver the boxes, then I would make a cup of coffee and stare at the boxes for the rest of the day and then the next morning, bright and early, I would unpack them. Great plan right? Of course I didn't tell my mom this. To her, I simply said that the furniture was easy to assemble and if I needed help, I would just call one of my friends. But she wasn't having it. She showed up literally 30 minutes BEFORE the delivery truck arrived and was there assembling all my furniture with me the entire day. To be honest, if it wasn't for her I'd probably still be sitting among those boxes!
My mother epitomizes the 'show don't tell' philosophy. She never just politely backs off if someone says they don't need help. Instead, she reads between the lines and understands when there is a need that she can support on. We can all learn from her. How often have you offered to help someone and when they decline your offer, you feel a tad bit relieved? No judgement, we've all been there.
It's not that you don't want to help, the problem is you're taking the path of least resistance but that path likely does not actually align with your values. Embedded in our value system is a deep yearning for strong and trusting relationships. We want to fill our lives with these relationships because we know that good relationships are at the core of our happiness. We just don't want to do the hard-work it takes to actually create and maintain these relationships. Stephen Covey says it best in his book, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People, your principles are based on your value system and you will only be in harmony if your habits are in direct alignment with these principles.
Knowledge without action is fruitless. Values without habits are pointless.
According to Covey, every so often, we should be sitting down with ourselves and outlining our values within every aspect of our life (family, friends, work, self-growth, etc). We should then determine what role we want to play within each of these avenues of our lives and the principles we need to abide by in order to play these roles. The next part is the most important. We need to then outline the habits and actions we need to develop every single day that will aid us in living out these values and principles.
Each day that we do this will bring us deeper in alignment, closer to harmony and on a path to achieving ultimate fulfillment.