They say gut feelings are guardian angels. That means we have guardian angels walking around with us all the time. Yet, we're still confused. Why is that? If your gut always knows what to do, why would we ever need to be confused about the direction we choose to go in?
It's because somewhere along the lines, we got really good at not listening to our gut As each one of us grew up, we began taking on other people's truths as our own. Their voices became ours and their gut feelings became what we saw as true. Most of the time we don't even realize we're doing it. But we are. All the time. Do you remember the last time you had a conversation with someone about a situation that just didn't feel right to you but they convinced you out of what you were feeling? The moment you said, "Maybe you're right." Their truth became you're own. This is of course not to say that we don't need our family and friends to be our sound boards and provide guidance. Of course we do. It's a blessing to have them. But no matter how amazing their intentions are, they don't know your truth. Your gut feelings should always trump another person's opinion.
Protect what's yours. We define ourselves by the boundaries we create in our life and in our relationships. Those boundaries don't need to cause friction in your relationships. Instead putting up a boundary is what causes respect to form within your relationships. Another way to think about it is to imagine the friction you'll cause internally by not putting up that boundary? You will always feel a sense of internal conflict if you don't put up the boundaries that define your truth.
Boundaries don't have to be aggressive. If you're a 'go with the flow' type of person saying no to someone is hard because you feel like you're disappointing them. There's two things to consider in this situation. The first is to determine what feels right to you in that moment. If saying no to them feels the best at your core, then say no politely. It doesn't have to be aggressive. Just say no. Once you do, don't explain it. Once you explain why you're putting a boundary up, you're admitting that you've done something wrong. Which you haven't. Secondly, practice saying no politely over and over again. I once had a life coach who told me to say no 7 times each week. It was hard at first, but the more I did it, the less I worried about disappointing people and the more control I felt like I had over my own life.
Owning what's yours starts with taking back the power over your boundaries. Listen to those guardian angels, they know what's up!